Last Sunday I had the express pleasure of dining with one of my favorite people here in L.A.-I will not use her real name to “protect the innocent,” but she’s a funny, gregarious, East-coaster with to-die-for red hair.
Halfway through our shrimp tempura sushi platter, amidst a robust conversation about our favorite topic, Public Relations, she stopped and said: “You know, you’re the first person I’ve had dinner with in a long time that hasn’t stopped to check their stupid iPhone for Twitter updates or text messages.”
I responded, somewhat hesitantly: “I was just thinking the same thing.”
And there we were…two smart, relatively entertaining individuals who were both feeling a little jaded because apparently our intellect and humor just couldn’t compete with a Twitter update from Ashton Kutcher. Fair? I don’t know. Sad? Perhaps.
Once we had both pondered this phenomenon for about 5 seconds she added: “So who is the Emily Post of today? I mean, where is Emily when we need her?”
To be honest, at first I did not understand the reference…but as it turns out, Ms. Post’s “manner guides” are the top echelon of their kind, and as I have come to find out, her “Manners Kingdom” is still in full swing: www.EmilyPost.com.
Although she doesn’t specifically write about “social media manners” or “iPhone manners,” from a quick overview of her topics, I found a Tip Sheet for table manners. Hypothetically, these tips are for ages 8-12, but IHMO anyone who can’t engage in conversation for more than 10 seconds without checking their “stupid iPhone” should perhaps listen up. I’ve added some notes:
1. Come to the table with clean hands and face. (NOTE: And not your “hands free” device)
2. Put your napkin on your lap.
3. Start eating when everyone else does – or when given the OK to start.
4. Stay seated and sit up straight. (NOTE: don’t hunch over your iPhone and send texts to someone you’ve never met living in China)
5. Keep elbows (and other body parts!) off the tablewhile eating. (NOTE: keep phones off the table)
6. Chew with your mouth closed and don’t talk until you’ve swallowed.
7. Don’t make bad comments about the food. (NOTE: and don’t make comments on your social networks either)
8. Say “Please pass the —” instead of reaching.
9. Chat with everyone at the table. (NOTE: Chat with everyone AT the table…..not on Facebook, or Twitter!)
10. Don’t make rude noises like burping or slurping. (NOTE: or the rude click click click of texting fingers)
11. Ask to be excused when finished. (NOTE: If you simply can’t help yourself then ask to be excused to go make a phone call or update your social network)
12. Thank your host or whoever prepared the meal.
13. Offer to help clear the table.
So next time you’re in the middle of a riveting conversation with a dear friend and they are violating the above rules, simply say: “Have you ever heard of Emily Post?” Then you can ever so subtly start dropping hints about how this crazy PR person decided to create her own version and that it’s actually fairly helpful for understanding “no no’s” during dinner conversations.
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